Stovon Onovors and the Christal Gems
by BlunderDip52
Summary: A collection of limericks about the different AUs and Parodies of Steven Universe.
1. Ring 1: Thy Fair Maiden

_Hello, this is BlunderDip52 with a limerick-like poem/parody about Steven Universe. The poem will consist of 5 rings, each one telling a different episode, but with an AU twist to it for comedic effect. Follow/favorite/review this if you like it, and check out my other works as well!_

 _This ring is the genderbend AU of "The Trial" (mainly in the beginning)_

 **Ring 1:** Thy Fair Maiden

A fair maiden thy freed

A boy with hair that was born to lead/p

He rescued her from large, titanium chicks/p

Who were hell-bent on getting their licks./p

Thy maiden's name was Larsicca

A gal who was just a wuss

She didn't have the courage to cuss

And tried desperately to please the boy.

"Hey, cutie," she said with a smirk,

But the boy didn't like to twerk.

So he said very shyly,

Without cheer or glee.

"You're welcome, Larsicca, but I ain't free!"

So the two went on journeying,

As friends. colleagues, fighters,

But instead of drinking nor partying,

They played with their lighters,

And their laughters echoed throughout the dark.

The maiden went to work one day,

To hang out with her boyfriend bae,

She said, "Hey, Sadicus!"

And he said, "Hey, Larsiccus!"

And they worked on making sweet donuts for the fans.

A couple hours later, Stovon came to the shop.

He ordered double-glazed rainbow, which would certainly make him hop,

And Larsiccus gave him the donut and a warm smile.

Mrs. Smiles worked at her Funland boardwalk.

She loved the way others would talk,

So when Larsiccus and Sadicus came there and jabbered on,

Smiles couldn't help but eavesdrop on.

And so concludes the journeys

Of young Stovon and older Larsiccus,

As they avoided the chicks' potential anger,

Escaped and became friends.

and played Undertale with their lighters.

 **END OF RING 1**


	2. Ring 2: Vines and Flowers

**Ring 2:** Vines and Flowers

 **Introduction**

 _This is CartoonWriter87 back with another ring of Stovon's adventures. Keep in mind that this ring will be much longer than ring 1._

 _This time, it is a shattered AU (some of the CG are dead) of "Onion Gang" and "An Indirect Kiss"_

 _Let me know what you think about this ring, and if you like it, vote or comment on it and I will make more of this in the not-too-distant future._

* * *

Stovon walked onto the beach

With nothing more for him to teach.

He took his clothes off,

But not all of them,

Because that would be just way off.

He saw that in a far-away distance,

The Green Space Dorito was making up that distance,

Running, screaming, arms flailing now,

And finally got to him and called him Tao.

Stovon was no Tao.

So when the Dorito called him that name,

Confusion in his mind came.

"Who is Tao," he asked.

"Oh, no one," she said.

And then she snacked on a piece of lead.

Stovon took a dip in the pool;

A kiddie pool that could be used as a tool.

The water was warm,

And to his surprise,

He found that the Dorito peed in it and the water level rose.

After the Dorito pool fiasco,

He went to find Amasco,

who was Stovon's year-round buddy.

To his surprise,

he found more friends,

And each of them had a speaking disorder.

Garage was the only one that spoke,

But his own name he only spoke.

Pints was his little baby.

Frisk wore a pot on her own head,

And finally, a black kid who's name was...Squasht.

The gang, as they referred themselves,

Did little when it came to going to bed.

So they ran away from their families, their homes,

Went to live in the forest like gnomes,

And stayed there every summer vacation.

When Garage died, Stovon was sad.

Not hungry, confused nor mad.

Then, all of a sudden, as if by magic,

Garage was buried and did not come back to life.

Frisk got really sick

Because of the bugs she kept in her licks.

And as a result of this sickness,

she suddenly died and needed to be squashed into the ground.

Pints, without his tween father,

Couldn't survive on his or her own.

Without any milk or carrots or fruits,

She too died, as well as Squasht, because of dysentery.

With no more friends to hang around,

Amasco was no longer friend-bound.

So he frolicked in the streets, like a total moron,

And died after getting hit by a bus.

Stovon went on a good-luck mission,

With Pokemon Omega Sapphire and Armrest,

After that purple fella Armrest

Broke and cracked her sorta weak breastbone.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere,

It was magically fixed up.

But Stovon saw a nearby cup.

He walked over and reached out to touch that cup,

And saw an extraordinary sight, much like a juicy pear.

Vines and flowers were in the cup,

And along with Stovon's own magic spit.

A fountain of Stovon spit emerged into the sky

And P.O.S. and Stovon both breathed a relieving sigh.

That is, until the two had fused...

So concludes another round of adventures,

And be sure to come back next time,

As we find out what more idiotic adventures Stovon has

With his friends or the other Christal [KRAHYS - tuhl] Gems!

 **END OF RING 2**


	3. Ring 3: Exploded Like Dynamite

**Ring 3:** Exploded Like Dynamite

* * *

 **Introduction**

 _This is BlunderDIp52 back with another ring of Stovon's adventures._

 _This is a momswap AU of "The Return" and "Jailbreak"_

 _Let me know what you think about this ring, and if you like it, vote or comment on it and I will make more of this in the not-too-distant future._

* * *

Stovon had a real cool mom

Whom was often referred to as Tom

She was orange and big

With long orange stripes

And her hair was as light as a fig.

Her real name was Josper

and she had a lot to prosper.

Green Space Dorito and Iluzal Sipal as well,1

keeping little Stovon under slight control.

Everything was all peachy keen

Until the family had saw what they never wanted to have seen.

A Granite fusion, a bulky Armrest, and a defective Perll

all on a ship that's shaped like a hand.

Josper tried to fight her off, but failed.

Granite tased her with a destabilizer,

and Josper fell apart and exploded, just like dynamite.

Granite knocked Stovon out,

and when he woke up hours later,

Stovon saw that he was very stout.

In a nearby cell lay a crocodile alligator.

The unknown gem's name was Citrus.

She had a gash on her arm that thankfully had no pus,

But when Citrus saw Stovon,

She cried with glee,

And kissed him smack on the lips.

A few minutes after that meeting,

Citrus found her lover Snow.

They shared an awful lovely greeting,

And there love fused to form the figure of Josper.

Josper was glad to have returned the favor.

But the job was nowhere from done yet.

Even though she played hard to get,

Josper still always found a way.

Josper being a fusion,

Of Citrus, Stovon's new friend, and Snow,

shocked Stovon on the down low,

That he ran away to rescue Iluzal and Dorito.

Dorito and Iluzal were glad that Stovon's okay,

But being the son of Mrs. Marshmallow,

an infamous rebel who fought to protect this land,

his view on making love and lustful opinions was just bland.

Now that the family had been reunited,

their villains that they'd catch had now been sighted.

There was just one obstacle to face now...

But is was Granite, and she can punch like POW!

But Josper, being a fusion,

And Granite, being a weaker fusion,

Josper fought Granite,

and a song sang from her lips the whole time:

It's a-me, a-Josper. Go back together. And I will not go to the hand I want.

'Cause I got better. And all my friends say "continue fighting her."

We will not keep following your law codes.

Come to me with all of your Handy Mandy tools.

Come on, me and you.

Let's go, 1 on 1.

If possible, try to fix me.

Does not my relationship look strong?

I saw that we hate the way too much.

But I think you are angry because you are alone.

We can not finish what we did.

We will continue forever.

If it hurts us, we will return to the newest.

And we are always twice as valuable as you.

I made s-e-e-e-ex, See now.-E-e-e-ex, And I made something weird.-E-e-e-e-ex, See now.

mm mm mm mm mm mm.

Can I have my line?

Oh, wait, no, it's me.

If you think you can stop me, then just, please, think again.

Because I felt a feeling, and I will never stop loving.

And you will not kill my planet.

And you will not kill my sex.

If possible, try to fix me.

Does not my relationship look strong?

I know you think that I think that she thinks that I am not afraid.

Because you don't know what you're dancing to.

But I am more than Citrus and Snow,

What they must worry about is what I'm composed of.

I am their anger. I am their love. I am Legion.

It's over, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it over?

It's over, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it over?

You won, and she chose you, and she loved you, and she's go-one!

It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on?

Josper defeated Granite,

and Homeworld fell down to the losing pit.

The planet Earth was safe for now,

Now's the time to celebrate with Tao!

 **END OF RING 3**


	4. Ring 4: The Locusts

**Ring 4:** The Locusts

* * *

 **Introduction**

 _We are getting closer and closer to the end!_

 _Hi, BlunderDip52 here, bringing you the second-to-last ring in the parody series, "Stovon Onovors and the Christal Gems". If you have stuck with this story from the very beginning, hooray! If not, do it now before it's gone forever (not literally). And if you never liked it, then that is your own opinion. I won't judge (as long as you're not a Lapidot shipper)._

 _Anyway, this is a shattered AU of "Full Disclosure", "Are You My Dad?" and "I Am My Mom"_

 _Hope you enjoy!_

 _P.S. There's language and kidnapping in here._

* * *

Stovon loved his family,

Way more than anyone he knew.

Even more than Connie loved him,

And that wasn't saying much at the time.

But ever since Armrest and Perll died,

he couldn't survive,

because ever since that fateful day,

he's always had a lament on the battlefield.

His troubled lament,

Carried on and on and on.

'Til he was singing -

Everybody told me Blue's Clues is dangerous

I guess I didn't watch it until now.

My daddy always seemed apprehensivable

And now he not freaking out

What don't I do?

I don't want to watch it with you.

(do do do do doo, do do do do doo, do do do do doo, do do do do doo)

Everybody told me the show ain't precious

On Mewni, and that means me

And I have to protect you, Blue the Dog.

What if I stopped watching Blue's Clues

What don't I do?

I don't want to watch it with a Jew...

Woooh...I'm a Christian...Noooh...Noo more Blue...

What am I going to tell you?

You're better off not knowing the trouble I'm in,

I don't want you to worry about what I've just seen,

About where I've just been

You don't have to be a part of the fandom

I don't think I want you to be in the fandom.

It gets really twisted with Jews,

I get really twisted around a Jew...

Woooh...I'm a Christian...Noooh...Noo more Blue...

(DENIED!)

Stovon sang his little heart out,

All throughout the night and day.

He sang about Blue's Clues, the fandom,

And being around certain followers

of the religion of Judaism.

Suddenly, a swarm of Gems;

one could describe them as two locusts,

came to Bitch City and started kidnapping people.

Their names were Water Marines and Top Ass

one was a British brat, the other a fusion,

And together, they failed to capture

what they called, a My Dad.

One can't rhyme oat with family,

But they could, very easily.

They called a family, a "shoat"

and now it rhymed with "oat".

But with Stovon's heroic powers,

He helps everyone out,

but also not,

by turning himself in and potentially dying.

He called himself "My Dad"

But we all know that was very bad.

So he called himself Mrs. Marshmallow,

And everything would not be the same after that.

The locusts later joined the Christal Gems

In their heroic order on this island.

When Top Ass unfused to form Topass and Topass,

They both clearly had a lot of mass.

 **END OF RING 4**


	5. Ring 5: For Whom The Gems Fuse

**Ring 5:** For Whom The Gems Fuse

* * *

 **Introduction**

 _Here we are at the end of this story!_

 _CartoonWriter87 here with the FINAL RING of Stovon's Adventures. There's not much wisdom I spread here, so enjoy!_

 _This is a momswap AU of "Super Watermelon Island" and "Gem Drill"._

* * *

It was an ordinary day,

For Stovon and his Christal friends.

Just hanging around, with nothing to do,

and everything was just O.K.

Until the ground had started to shake

like a box of Shake-n-Bake,

The family couldn't deal with it

But Stovon's brain went and lit.

"How about we find out

What this problem really is?"

But Sipal Iluzal shook him off

And Stovon was forced to pout.

He got the job of getting burned alive

At the center of the Earth's core

Along with Armrest, a Houseworld refugee

Who had the power to bore.

They began drilling down and down,

Into the place they needed to go,

All while Stovon sang to himself,

A song that I won't dwell on now.

Meanwhile, on Total Drama Island,

the other Gems were planning something big.

They were planning an onslaught of assaults

And to do that, they needed to fuse.

The fusion they needed to stop

was Glugilite, a very unstable one

And as she ate in peace a bun,

The Gems began to fuse.

They eventually formed Alexanderite,

A fusion of four Gems,

And they smacked that bun outta her hand

Causing them to fight, fight, FIGHT!

At the center of the Earth's core

Stovon confessed his love for Armrest.

He said "My feelings!"

And then straight-up passes out on her.

Stovon spoke to The Cluster of Granola,

A creature-hybrid fusion, whatever thingy

That caused the earthquake that shook the Gems.

And the Cluster started to sing -

 _I line my hook with some love_

 _Someone tell me that I'm in love—_

 _Fishin' for someone to love._

Stovon didn't understand

Why it was singing unusually like this,

Or how it got that song.

But Stovon loved the song nevertheless.

They started dancing

And singing

And all that good stuff

Until Stovon and the Cluster became good friends.

When he regained consciousness,

He found Armrest holding and kissing him,

Which was a very unusual thing.

He had successfully befriended the Granola,

and Alexanderite had defeated Glugilite.

And the Earth is safe again.

They all met back up

at the tree-house dome

And Stovon and Armrest had became friends as well.

Larsicca and Sadicus got married,

And Mr. Smiles began to work at Funville.

Grace Rolek met Zack Callison,

and India became an independent country.

Welp, it looks like my job here is done,

so, goodbye Stovon! Goodbye Christal Gems!

and Goodbye Glugilite!

 **THE END**


End file.
